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Vision of Hell and the God of Death
by Swami Muktananda
A few days passed in this way, and I felt very happy. Then, again, I started to meditate on the black light. One day I saw a world that was extremely filthy. Siddha students should read this passage carefully. That day, when I sat for meditation, my whole body shook violently, just as if I were possessed by a god or a bad spirit. In that state, I saw in meditation that I was traveling a very long way, but I did not know where I was going or how. Although my physical body was still sitting in meditation, I arrived at a place that was utterly filthy, filled with excreta. I found myself standing in a heap of refuse. I am fully aware of what I am saying. Muktananda says: Siddha students, read this carefully. Wherever I looked I saw nothing but excreta. God knows for how many ages these turds had been piling up there. Just as in Mahableshwar you can see mountains all around from whichever point you are standing, so now I could see piles and piles of excrement all around, as though it had been accumulating there for many years. As I moved a bit, my feet began to sink in it.A revolting stench was coming from all sides, and this made me want to vomit. I started to feel giddy. The paths were rough and crude, and what water there was, was mixed with excreta. I saw only a few men and women, all of them naked. Some were sitting on heaps of dung, looking sad and ugly. I was filled with loathing at the sight of all this. I stumbled on ahead with great difficulty. There was some light, but the sun was not visible. Sadhakas, please remember this experience of mine. When I came to this place, I lost all my radiance. I searched for a way out. With great difficulty, I found one, but that, too, was filled with excreta. Then I saw a hill of dried-out excreta on which men and women were seated. I marveled at all I had seen.
After this, I went to another world where there were woods and gardens filled with fruit and flowers, and many kinds of cows, oxen, horses and other animals. I saw some men there who were about twenty feet tall, dark-skinned, with protruding teeth. They all carried in their hands flashing swords about six feet long and large goads. Some wore silken clothes, some wore animal skins, and others were in ordinary clothes. Their eyes were red with anger. There were no women there, which surprised me a great deal. I also saw some black bull water buffaloes about twenty feet long. Then I saw an extremely fascinating lake, with beautiful chirping birds all around it. Nearby flowed a delightful river. There was a brilliant light everywhere - perhaps the sun's or that of some other star. In the midst of this radiance, I saw a dark god sitting on a dark water buffalo decorated with flowers and covered with a silken sheet. The animal's horns were covered with gold and it wore golden anklets on its hoofs. The god wore a red dhoti, a sacred thread, and a jeweled crown on his head. He was about ten feet away from me. I smiled when I saw him, and he too smiled at me, raising his hands in the gesture of fearlessness. I was overjoyed and full of gladness, for I had seen Yamaraja, the lord of death. After a little while, two of his attendants came and led me out, taking me back through the hellish mire again. Then my meditation stopped. I stepped out of my hut. My heart felt dry, and I tried to drink some water, but I started to vomit. My heart was filled with digust. I did not eat for three days. Even now I feel disgusted when I remember it.
Meanwhile, my meditation continued in the same way. While going into meditation I would be seized by a wave of Shakti. My tongue would curl upward, my eyes rolling in the same direction, and I would see the light revealed outside. My meditation kept progressing, and sometimes I got so deeply absorbed in it that fear of death arose in my mind. I would think, "I am going to die, I am going to die," and because of this fear, my meditation would stop. Sometimes I would see the divine thumb-shaped light in the space within my heart, and this would make me happy. At this stage my experiences were always in the same order: first I would visit Tandraloka, then I would see all external objects bathed in a many-colored light, and finally my meditation would be broken off because of the fear of death.
