DeadBrain daily news satire
Mon Feb 4 04:43:43 2008 GMT
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Record number of people 'forget who Pete Doherty is'

Immigrant: Does the jobs you hate

American writers strike turns nasty

Millennium Goals 'pushed back until next one'

Thousands inconvenienced as trains operate normally

New Year celebrations too risky, says Government

Canada seizes North Pole

Bush: Pakistan may join the "Axle of Evil"

Iran imprisons Dumbledore

News channels scramble to cover Campbell resignation

Ming Campbell quits after long health battle

Patients banned from hospitals on health grounds

Nine million dead as agencies battle for splash

UN deadlock on Amy Winehouse crisis

Prescott "could be replaced by bucket of lard"

Government to combat Hull, Tewkesbury flood risk with new Thames barrier

Exclusive: Disastrous flooding could happen again, sometime

Government in tough crackdown on binge-raining

Discordian Research Technology
Fri May 9 07:43:54 2008 GMT
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KallistiCon 2008: If You’re Not There, You’re No Where

Happy St. Tib’s Day

Washing Myself

The Mystery of The Apple

Bullshit Makes You Poorer, Not Healthier

Do It For Science

Bees Can Fly

Bube Toob

The Heart Condition

Cow Cocoons

eNuze
Mon Jan 2 02:44:06 2006 GMT
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[Funny] Lost, a hamster named Duckie

[Funny] Group Protest's Wrong Congressman

[Interesting] Spaceship Seen At Star Wars: Episode 3 Showing

[Funny] Ghetto Version of Trivial Pursuit

[Interesting] Arab Doll A Hot Item In Mideast

[Funny] 272nd time a charm for man on driving test

[Odd] Skeletal Remains Found In Chimney

[Scary] Driving instructor gives lesson in road rage

[Funny] Size matters as KFC ad banned

[Ironic] Chinese online gamer stabbed for selling virtual sword

[Scary] Tractor driver suffocates under pile of manure

[Funny] Thief Steals Poop From Woman Walking Dog

[Interesting] Underdogs win national underwater robot championship

[Stupid] Robber Jailed After Using Banana As Weapon

[Funny] 'Wedgie' Added to Webster's Dictionary

[Funny] Pay Your Taxes, Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum....

[Funny] Police raid over home alone hamster

[Absurd] US casino company buys stripper's implant

[Ironic] Castro gives rice cookers to women

Exploding Cigar Weird News
Mon Apr 7 15:44:36 2008 GMT
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Man faces prison for attacking boy with a hedgehog

India develops curry hand grenade

Children in poor countries need more toilets

Thief thwarted with frozen ham

Matt Damon and wife expecting a baby

Baby that survived tornado nicknamed “Tumbleweed”

Airborne pays out millions due to phony cold-cure claims

Cat survives tornado and fire

FARK
Mon May 12 03:44:30 2008 GMT
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[Spiffy] Man with terminal cancer gets his wish to meet the Dallas Cowbys Cheerleaders. Still no cur...

[Cool] Some guy decides to draw every road in America - and he means *every* road. The result is the...

[Dumbass] Today's schoolteacher sex scandal brought to you by an elite private school in Montrea...

[Obvious] What cops want during a traffic stop. Doughnuts curiously absent

[Followup] Holey throat, Batman Turns out that the man who performed a tracheotomy on himself has ha...

[Cool] The most awesome three headed bee you'll see all day

[Stupid] Police raid flea market, preventing sales of counterfeit Chanel, Prada and Louis Vuitton it...

[Interesting] National Bicycle Dealers Association reports strong spike in bicycle sales. In other n...

[Weird] Wal-Mart store detective gives chase to woman who shoplifted baby wipes. Stroller overturns,...

[Cool] Michigan lady just decided to pay $20.00 for a $1.00 parking ticket given to her back in 1976...

[Stupid] If you're a white officer in the NYPD and are going to hassle a black motorist, make su...

[Interesting] Family says girl's mouth taped shut at school. Girl says, "mmm mm mmmmm mm mm...

[Amusing] The first rule of Cuddle Party is, you do not talk -- No wait, it's keep your pajamas on

[Photoshop] Photoshop this ferocious dog

[Weird] Ohio man jailed when 18-year old daughter fails to pass GED exam

[Interesting] Mother's Day was invented 100 years ago in Philadelphia to make up for their deep ...

[Scary] "I love her dearly," mother says of daughter who allegedly plotted to kill her. Mo...

[Interesting] "Babylosers" more educated than their "babyboomer" parents, but ha...

Find of the Day
Sun May 11 07:44:36 2008 GMT
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Best Mom

I Love My Mom

Carl Sagan, Where Are You When We Need You?

Goodbye

Math Problem

Dishes

James Spader(?) in a Dress

Movie Night

Light Reading for the Commode?

At 100 Miles Per Hour

Fortean Times: Breaking
Mon May 21 11:52:03 2007 GMT
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Gorilla rampages through Dutch zoo

Piles of rocks spark an American Indian mystery

Woman survives internal decapitation

Window cleaner drowned in bucket of water

More Antarctic marine oddities found

"My calf's got two noses..."

Flying cars petrify residents in Beckenham

Reality Sandwich - a new thinkpiece site worth checking out

2007 optical illusion contest winners announced

Mummy found in Costa Brava flat

Twelve dinosaur eggs found in India

Is Glasgow's Necropolis a giant masonic symbol?

Workers rescued from tank of dense fish poo

Cyclist OK after truck runs over head

X-ray of Japanese woman shows bullet that entered her head in WWII

Can US military's plasma lasers explain some UFO sightings?

Claim: James Bond writer involved in witch prosecution

Scientists create 'plastic' blood

Sake may power cars in the future

Hunt for real life 'were-rabbit'

Wisconsin farmer finds new calf has two noses

UFOs spotted over Northern Ireland

Pinhead art sells for £11m

Dog stuck on cliff-hanger for two weeks

Good Plastic Surgery
Sat May 10 15:47:02 2008 GMT
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Angelina Jolie - Her Road To Superstar Looks

The new Mila Kunis

Ben Savage's Nose Knows

Mischa Barton proud of her cankles

Audrina Patridge's Enhanced Rack

Kristin Cavalleri

Miss Universe 2004 Jennifer Hawkins

13 Year Old Gets Facial Birthmark Removed

New Treatment For Acne Scars

Uma Thurman's Nose

Rachel Hunter Has Scars Under Her Boobs

Bye Bye Boobies

Ryan Gosling's Nose

A new nose and chin

Reality TV Star Claims Lipodissolve Works For Her

Graffiti News
Mon May 12 03:44:43 2008 GMT
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Minneapolis doles out $164500 for graffiti prevention and clean-up - Twin Cities Planet

A fine line between aerosol art and graffiti - Twin Cities Planet

Take note of graffiti ‘blooming’ in your neighborhood - Fairbanks Daily News-Miner

A place for our own personal graffiti - Globe and Mail

40 Graffiti Artists to Bomb Venice Walls on Sunday - LAist

Afternoon update: Sentinel following stories on Ano Nuevo, anti ... - San Jose Mercury News

Police crack down on graffiti - Manx Radio

Second anti-Semitic message discovered at UCSC - San Jose Mercury News

The art of self expression - TheChronicleHerald.ca

iWorkWithFools
Mon Feb 4 04:46:30 2008 GMT
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Taking a Break from Fools

Bitch With No Identity

New Employee Feeling Unwelcome By 2 People

Scissors/Post-Its/Tape

Queen of Annoying Coworkers!

Office Gremlin

Thanksgiving Break...

Caps LOCK

Asshole making me want to quit

Another Crazy Printer Story

Morons.org
Sat May 10 19:46:04 2008 GMT
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Random: Stories We Missed on May. 06, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on May. 05, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on May. 04, 2008

Campaign News: North Carolina and Indiana

Random: Stories We Missed on May. 02, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on May. 02, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on Apr. 30, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on Apr. 27, 2008

Morons in the News: Supreme Court Abridges Voting Rights

Random: Stories We Missed on Apr. 23, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on Apr. 21, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on Apr. 21, 2008

Campaign News: Pennsylvania Primary

Random: Stories We Missed on Apr. 15, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on Apr. 12, 2008

Offbeat News
Mon May 12 03:45:39 2008 GMT
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Moreover Technologies

Dog owners flock to Fashion Island

Elderly blind man bowls perfect 300

Poll: Everyday civility declining in Utah

Artist has a fresh lick of paint

MORE: Meet Pricasso, the penis painter

Bar manager gets revenge for tagging

Parking ticket paid 31 years late

Fla. woman hurt in collision with pelican

Woman pays off 1976 parking ticket issued in Mich.

SpongeBob SquarePants image painted on historic Colo. cabin (AP)

Woman pays off 1976 parking ticket issued in Mich. (AP)

Just Sea This Cemetery

Her Ticket To A Clear Conscience

3 pythons turn up in German parcel post

Happy Mother's Day: Woman pregnant with 18th child

Michigan youngster collects a million pennies for his school

SpongeBob SquarePants image painted on historic Colorado cabin

Onion
Sun May 11 07:45:54 2008 GMT
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The Onion [audio] Christian Slater Dropped From List Of Names To Drop

Michel Gondry Entertained For Days By New Cardboard Box

[audio] India's Top Physicists Develop Plan To Get The Hell Out Of India

[audio] Cheney Adds Rare '64 Kuwait To Oil Cellar

Earliest American Scat Found

Local Bar Comes Out As Gay

New NFL Rule Will Force Players To Have One Of Three Appropriate Haircuts

Number Of Acceptable Things Candidates Can Say Now Down To Four

Peanut Allergies May Be Cured

Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda

I'm The Denzel Washington In Training Day Of Booking Plane Tickets Online

This International Space Station Is A Pig Sty

Economic Stimulus Check Burned For Warmth

Stronger LASIK Warnings Urged

Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States

Watching TV Shows On DVD The Way To Do It, Area Man Reports

30 Years Of Man's Life Disappear In Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle'

New 'Get The Fuck Outta The Road' Program Aims To Increase Pedestrian Safety

Rednova Oddities
Thu Jun 28 19:49:11 2007 GMT
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RedOrbit News

Expedition to Look for Bigfoot Evidence

Jaw Ailment Could Sideline Eating Champ

Wash. Fisherman Cuts Off Own Fingertips

Candidates' Names Are Tough in Chinese

Indonesian VP OKs Marijuana As Spice

Court Upholds Prisoners' Right to Porn

Shanghai Drivers Switch to Music Horns

Judge: Blood Promise Can't Be Enforced

Buried 'Aliens' Are Really Tree Trunks

Wis. Man Accused of Stomping Pet Fish

Man Gets 10 Years in License Shooting

Trumpet Causes Scare in Salt Lake City

Wife Blames Shooting on Burglar Alarm

Abandoned Trumpet Causes Scare in Utah

Drivers Arrested for Speeding at 141 Mph

Man, 87, Finishes Steep Uphill Race

Officer Loses Job Over Jail 'Sex Show'

Woman Blames Shooting on Burglar Alarm

Reuters Odd
Fri May 9 19:46:40 2008 GMT
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Men charged after skull dug up, used as bong

Chef wants to outlaw out-of-season vegetables

"Self-important and irritating"

Book lifts lid on star of eerie first Dracula film

Royal jewels, rare watches to test auction market

Woman fired for giving 16-cent treat to toddler

You want fries with that? YES!!!!

Sexy orchids do more than embarrass wasps?

Safety in numbers for speeding drivers

Building boom drives dump truck thefts

SFGate Weird News
Sun May 11 23:46:00 2008 GMT
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Just Sea This Cemetery

It's 'Your Honor,' Not 'Your Highness'!

That's Not A Good Day

Body Of Woman, 90, Found On Toilet

48 States, Four Days, $1,000 In Gas

'Funeral Day Burglar' Found Guilty

They Sure Sounded Like Strikes

Customers Wait Hours For 23-Cent Pizzas In Ohio

He's At The 50! The 40! At Uncle Al's Ashes! The 30!

Spoof News
Sun May 11 23:46:09 2008 GMT
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The elephant finally leaves the room

Mass Book Burning By Burning Bush

Vatican Gives German Online Boost

New England Patriots "Spy" Tapes - Not What NFL Commissioner Expected

Weekly World News
Fri Sep 1 22:09:05 2006 GMT
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AMERICA'S HOTTEST SPORT GOES INTERACTIVE AND TAKES YOU ON...THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE!

NEW SECRET WEAPON FOR OUR TROOPS! IT'S PIXIE DUST -- AND IT DEFIES GRAVITY!

COMPANY OFFERS ALL THE ADVANTAGES OF MARRIAGE -- WITHOUT ANY DRAWBACKS!

GYPSY CURSE TURNS ENTIRE SUPREME COURT BENCH LIBERAL

CATHOLIC CHURCH PUTS CONFESSION BOOTHS IN STRIP JOINTS!

TIGHTROPE WALKER PLANS TO GO 'WIRELESS'

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN COLLAPSES

SODA JERK LIVES UP TO NAME

CONGRESSMAN DISMISSED FOR WEARING SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS COSTUME!

FOUNTAIN OF VERMOUTH VERMOUTH DISCOVERED!

CHURCH & STATE ORDERED TO SEPARATE!

BUSH TO STAR ON FOX'S 24?

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT GHOSTS?

BELCHING SWORD SWALLOWER ACCIDENTALLY IMPALES AUDIENCE MEMBER

GOD SAYS: 'LEAVE ME OUT OF IT!'

SAN FRANCISCO HIRES NUDE WOMEN TO PROTECT GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE

TIRED OF YOUR TATTOO? Get Rid Of It With A Hand Sander!

DEATH'S DOOR DISCOVERED

SPAM WINS PULITZER!

COMPANY OFFERS SPACE ALIEN INVASION INSURANCE!

Weird Spot
Sun May 11 11:47:08 2008 GMT
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Weird Pictures Weird News Strange Bizarre Unusual Sexy Girls

Sexy Girl Hot Boobs

Man Finds Woman's Wallet Stolen In 1973

Bad Parking

Man Operates On His Own Throat With Steak Knife

Shocked Web Browsing Dog

Breastfeeding Associated With Increased Intelligence

Bad Horse Jumping Accident

Python Swallows Family's Kitten

Vikki Blows Glamour Model

WeirdAssShit.com
Fri May 9 19:47:26 2008 GMT
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Real-life Tron

Irish Jig

Queefing made easy

Binary Love

Manson

Life

TattooJohnny

New condom roles 'offer job satisfaction'

The High Rollers

Firefighter in Bikini Accepts Plea Deal

Jello

Batman and the king

got cum?

Joe Rogan VS Carlos Mencia

Superhero Talk