DeadBrain daily news satire
Mon Feb 4 04:43:43 2008 GMT
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Record number of people 'forget who Pete Doherty is'

Immigrant: Does the jobs you hate

American writers strike turns nasty

Millennium Goals 'pushed back until next one'

Thousands inconvenienced as trains operate normally

New Year celebrations too risky, says Government

Canada seizes North Pole

Bush: Pakistan may join the "Axle of Evil"

Iran imprisons Dumbledore

News channels scramble to cover Campbell resignation

Ming Campbell quits after long health battle

Patients banned from hospitals on health grounds

Nine million dead as agencies battle for splash

UN deadlock on Amy Winehouse crisis

Prescott "could be replaced by bucket of lard"

Government to combat Hull, Tewkesbury flood risk with new Thames barrier

Exclusive: Disastrous flooding could happen again, sometime

Government in tough crackdown on binge-raining

Discordian Research Technology
Fri May 9 07:43:54 2008 GMT
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KallistiCon 2008: If You’re Not There, You’re No Where

Happy St. Tib’s Day

Washing Myself

The Mystery of The Apple

Bullshit Makes You Poorer, Not Healthier

Do It For Science

Bees Can Fly

Bube Toob

The Heart Condition

Cow Cocoons

eNuze
Mon Jan 2 02:44:06 2006 GMT
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[Funny] Lost, a hamster named Duckie

[Funny] Group Protest's Wrong Congressman

[Interesting] Spaceship Seen At Star Wars: Episode 3 Showing

[Funny] Ghetto Version of Trivial Pursuit

[Interesting] Arab Doll A Hot Item In Mideast

[Funny] 272nd time a charm for man on driving test

[Odd] Skeletal Remains Found In Chimney

[Scary] Driving instructor gives lesson in road rage

[Funny] Size matters as KFC ad banned

[Ironic] Chinese online gamer stabbed for selling virtual sword

[Scary] Tractor driver suffocates under pile of manure

[Funny] Thief Steals Poop From Woman Walking Dog

[Interesting] Underdogs win national underwater robot championship

[Stupid] Robber Jailed After Using Banana As Weapon

[Funny] 'Wedgie' Added to Webster's Dictionary

[Funny] Pay Your Taxes, Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum....

[Funny] Police raid over home alone hamster

[Absurd] US casino company buys stripper's implant

[Ironic] Castro gives rice cookers to women

Exploding Cigar Weird News
Mon Apr 7 15:44:36 2008 GMT
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Man faces prison for attacking boy with a hedgehog

India develops curry hand grenade

Children in poor countries need more toilets

Thief thwarted with frozen ham

Matt Damon and wife expecting a baby

Baby that survived tornado nicknamed “Tumbleweed”

Airborne pays out millions due to phony cold-cure claims

Cat survives tornado and fire

FARK
Fri May 16 07:44:32 2008 GMT
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[PSA] When landing your airplane, recommended landing spots do not include another plane attempting ...

[Cool] Oldest known bust of Caesar found, stabbed

[Interesting] EU wants more people to learn German. You know...just in case

[Strange] We need to ban iPods to stop people from being run over by helicopters

[Ironic] Heidi Fleiss, the Hollywood Madam, now lives in a trailer with 20 parrots and likes fat guy...

[Photoshop] Photoshop this hand-signaling driver

[Dumbass] Guy takes running start in order to win a "who can spit furthest" contest off of...

[Amusing] Dear, there's a cat under the porch, would you take care of it? Sure hon, no probOHOLY...

[Advice] TFer was attacked by several large ducks. They broke the skin with their biting\pecking. Do...

[Followup] That 13-year-old kid that paid hookers to play Halo? He doesn't exist. Obvious tag tr...

[Florida] Trying to rob a pizza joint: Stupid. Trying to rob the pizza joint you work at: Moronic. T...

[Florida] Study: Rising ocean may submerge South Florida. Promises, promises

[Dumbass] State begins program to trap sea lions at Bonneville Dam, forget that sea lions spend a lo...

[Obvious] Ten items that you think make you look cool but really don't. Bluetooth headsets suspi...

[Asinine] Judge tells underage drinker to kill himself, community outraged, judge asks, "Should...

[PSA] Pope says "thanks" to virgins. Submitter says thanks for nothing

[Dumbass] Mugger fails at mugging but does learn a valuable lesson in Newtonian physics

[Interesting] Between gas prices, food prices and high unemployment, a lot of people are going to en...

Find of the Day
Fri May 16 07:44:33 2008 GMT
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SHARE YOUR POPSICLE

Chihuahua Puppy Card

A Favor to Humanity

Spong Bob Scker Pans

Men Call the Hou

How to Make a Teacher Annoying

Groshery Lissed

Korn Fan

Donovan

Hank the Camel

Fortean Times: Breaking
Mon May 21 11:52:03 2007 GMT
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Gorilla rampages through Dutch zoo

Piles of rocks spark an American Indian mystery

Woman survives internal decapitation

Window cleaner drowned in bucket of water

More Antarctic marine oddities found

"My calf's got two noses..."

Flying cars petrify residents in Beckenham

Reality Sandwich - a new thinkpiece site worth checking out

2007 optical illusion contest winners announced

Mummy found in Costa Brava flat

Twelve dinosaur eggs found in India

Is Glasgow's Necropolis a giant masonic symbol?

Workers rescued from tank of dense fish poo

Cyclist OK after truck runs over head

X-ray of Japanese woman shows bullet that entered her head in WWII

Can US military's plasma lasers explain some UFO sightings?

Claim: James Bond writer involved in witch prosecution

Scientists create 'plastic' blood

Sake may power cars in the future

Hunt for real life 'were-rabbit'

Wisconsin farmer finds new calf has two noses

UFOs spotted over Northern Ireland

Pinhead art sells for £11m

Dog stuck on cliff-hanger for two weeks

Good Plastic Surgery
Tue May 13 11:46:44 2008 GMT
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Kerry Washington's Nose looks great

Angelina Jolie - Her Road To Superstar Looks

The new Mila Kunis

Ben Savage's Nose Knows

Mischa Barton proud of her cankles

Audrina Patridge's Enhanced Rack

Kristin Cavalleri

Miss Universe 2004 Jennifer Hawkins

13 Year Old Gets Facial Birthmark Removed

New Treatment For Acne Scars

Uma Thurman's Nose

Rachel Hunter Has Scars Under Her Boobs

Bye Bye Boobies

Ryan Gosling's Nose

A new nose and chin

Graffiti News
Fri May 16 07:44:42 2008 GMT
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Graffiti expose gains from director's artistic approach - Denver Post

Motion-Activated Sprinkler Extinguishes Graffiti Problem - CNW Telbec (Communiqués de presse)

Hate graffiti under investigation - The Register-Guard

Four face charges over graffiti spraying - Milford Daily News

Graffiti Vandals Strike Again In Lawrenceville - KDKA

Graffiti Suspects Nabbed in San Manuel - KOLD-TV

Teens arrested for graffiti crimes - Capital News 9

Grappling with graffiti - KVAL

'Graffiti' revisited - Petaluma Argus Courier

iWorkWithFools
Mon Feb 4 04:46:30 2008 GMT
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Taking a Break from Fools

Bitch With No Identity

New Employee Feeling Unwelcome By 2 People

Scissors/Post-Its/Tape

Queen of Annoying Coworkers!

Office Gremlin

Thanksgiving Break...

Caps LOCK

Asshole making me want to quit

Another Crazy Printer Story

Morons.org
Thu May 15 19:45:51 2008 GMT
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Random: Stories We Missed on May. 12, 2008

Campaign News: West Virginia

Random: Stories We Missed on May. 06, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on May. 05, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on May. 04, 2008

Campaign News: North Carolina and Indiana

Random: Stories We Missed on May. 02, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on May. 02, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on Apr. 30, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on Apr. 27, 2008

Morons in the News: Supreme Court Abridges Voting Rights

Random: Stories We Missed on Apr. 23, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on Apr. 21, 2008

Random: Stories We Missed on Apr. 21, 2008

Campaign News: Pennsylvania Primary

Offbeat News
Fri May 16 07:45:33 2008 GMT
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Moreover Technologies

Okla. town elects 19-year-old mayor

Boy Scouts find voodoo dolls

New jellyfish species found in Townsville Aquarium

Gaffe forces Senate candidate to pull ad

Restaurant fined over pan-waving worker

Girl Scout breaks record for cookie sales

Hummer drives on top of police car in Markham, Ont., after break-and-enter

Ken Griffey Jr. pays off debt to teammate Josh Fogg in pennies

DNA tests exonerate 'Lizard Man' in van attack

Pair say they attacked each other with frying pan

DNA tests exonerate 'Lizard Man' in van attack

Some Whack-os For The System

Hummer drives on top of police car in Markham, Ont., after break-and-enter

Police say men trying to steal power lines shocked

Pair say they attacked each other with frying pan

Police say men trying to steal power lines shocked (AP)

Pair say they attacked each other with frying pan (AP)

Onion
Fri May 16 07:45:33 2008 GMT
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The Onion San Diego Zoo, Prison Merge

Vatican Okays Space Aliens

That's What Host Of 'Showtime At The Apollo' Talking About

[audio] Plate Of Cookies Never Stood A Chance

[audio] Biologists Apologize For Release Of Giant Winged Serpents

Piggly Wiggly Scouting Report Indicates J.J. Hardy Enjoys Rib-Eye Steaks

Stackley Cup Playoffs Underway

Jimmy Fallon To Host 'Late Night'

Formerly Obese Man Always Showing Everyone His Old Pants

I Would Say 'To Kill A Mockingbird' Captured The Most Interesting Part Of Our Lives

I Can't Believe I'm Being Forced To Sit On This Couch While Jay Leno Interviews Josh Hartnett

Everything Falling Apart, Reports Institute For Somehow Managing To Hold It All Together

Clinton Questions Obama's Ability To Greet World Leaders

"Law Order" Actor Arrested

[audio] Obama Voicemail Message Not That Inspiring

Nation's Slicked-Back-Hair Men Rally Against Negative Hollywood Portrayal

Michel Gondry Entertained For Days By New Cardboard Box

Local Bar Comes Out As Gay

Rednova Oddities
Thu Jun 28 19:49:11 2007 GMT
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RedOrbit News

Expedition to Look for Bigfoot Evidence

Jaw Ailment Could Sideline Eating Champ

Wash. Fisherman Cuts Off Own Fingertips

Candidates' Names Are Tough in Chinese

Indonesian VP OKs Marijuana As Spice

Court Upholds Prisoners' Right to Porn

Shanghai Drivers Switch to Music Horns

Judge: Blood Promise Can't Be Enforced

Buried 'Aliens' Are Really Tree Trunks

Wis. Man Accused of Stomping Pet Fish

Man Gets 10 Years in License Shooting

Trumpet Causes Scare in Salt Lake City

Wife Blames Shooting on Burglar Alarm

Abandoned Trumpet Causes Scare in Utah

Drivers Arrested for Speeding at 141 Mph

Man, 87, Finishes Steep Uphill Race

Officer Loses Job Over Jail 'Sex Show'

Woman Blames Shooting on Burglar Alarm

Reuters Odd
Fri May 16 03:45:48 2008 GMT
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Icelandic museum offers long and short of male organ

"No, after you - I'm just here to rob the place!"

Wedding day fireworks land groom in jail

Inmates showcase designs at prison show

"Snake man" slithers out of prison cell

Green aliens, UFOs said to visit

Watchdog raps Skins over "orgy" poster

Solar bra brings conservation closer to the heart

Von Trapp's "Sound of Music" villa to become hotel

Man sues airline over flight spent in toilet

SFGate Weird News
Thu May 15 23:46:03 2008 GMT
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'A Win-Win Situation' For Prison-Loving Robber

Shockingly Stupid Are Us

He's Rid Of At Least One Pain

Forced To Bear 2 Hours Of Traffic

Invading Ants Give Houston A Big Jolt

Girl's Twin Is Found Inside Her Stomach

That's A Whole Lot Of Brownie Points

911 Operator Fired For Cursing After Report

Obama, Curious George: Separated At Birth?

Spoof News
Fri May 16 07:46:07 2008 GMT
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Angelina Jolie set to destroy own vagina

New "Dummies for Dummies" book published

Rangers Fans Labelled "Drunks" By Respectable Manchester Folk

Woman QC must resign over inflammatory comments says top judge

Weekly World News
Fri Sep 1 22:09:05 2006 GMT
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AMERICA'S HOTTEST SPORT GOES INTERACTIVE AND TAKES YOU ON...THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE!

NEW SECRET WEAPON FOR OUR TROOPS! IT'S PIXIE DUST -- AND IT DEFIES GRAVITY!

COMPANY OFFERS ALL THE ADVANTAGES OF MARRIAGE -- WITHOUT ANY DRAWBACKS!

GYPSY CURSE TURNS ENTIRE SUPREME COURT BENCH LIBERAL

CATHOLIC CHURCH PUTS CONFESSION BOOTHS IN STRIP JOINTS!

TIGHTROPE WALKER PLANS TO GO 'WIRELESS'

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN COLLAPSES

SODA JERK LIVES UP TO NAME

CONGRESSMAN DISMISSED FOR WEARING SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS COSTUME!

FOUNTAIN OF VERMOUTH VERMOUTH DISCOVERED!

CHURCH & STATE ORDERED TO SEPARATE!

BUSH TO STAR ON FOX'S 24?

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT GHOSTS?

BELCHING SWORD SWALLOWER ACCIDENTALLY IMPALES AUDIENCE MEMBER

GOD SAYS: 'LEAVE ME OUT OF IT!'

SAN FRANCISCO HIRES NUDE WOMEN TO PROTECT GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE

TIRED OF YOUR TATTOO? Get Rid Of It With A Hand Sander!

DEATH'S DOOR DISCOVERED

SPAM WINS PULITZER!

COMPANY OFFERS SPACE ALIEN INVASION INSURANCE!

Weird Spot
Fri May 16 07:46:32 2008 GMT
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Weird Pictures Weird News Strange Bizarre Unusual Sexy Girls

Hot Girl Posing in White Lingerie

Alternative To Silicon Chip Invented By Student

Sexy Myleene Reveals Her Curves

Amazing Huge Cow

Funny Super Dog

Kids Think Eyeglasses Make Other Kids Look Smart

Beijing's Exclusive Penis Restaurant

Birthday Boy Crashes Ferrari Spyder

Sexy Girl Hot Boobs

WeirdAssShit.com
Fri May 9 19:47:26 2008 GMT
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Real-life Tron

Irish Jig

Queefing made easy

Binary Love

Manson

Life

TattooJohnny

New condom roles 'offer job satisfaction'

The High Rollers

Firefighter in Bikini Accepts Plea Deal

Jello

Batman and the king

got cum?

Joe Rogan VS Carlos Mencia

Superhero Talk